The 7th week was very positive, but the 8th wasn’t so good. I felt so tired, because I had had a lot of social activities and doctor’s visits lately. I managed to clean my home during the 7th week, but at the beginning of 8th I was away and when I came back everything was messy again. I was so frustrated and it made me exhausted. I spent the whole weekend watching tv-shows. Because of my exhaustion I didn’t wake up as early as before and so I didn’t find time for blogging or for a happiness challenge and it made me more sad. Messy home caused conflicts between me and my partner. I was so fed up that I am the only one who does dishes and cleans home. We decided that everyone has to wash their dishes themselves except the kid – we split his dishes. I did my duties but he still didn’t and then arguments were still part of our life. Last two days of my final week were better than the beginning, I could do more activities which filled my cup and also did other duties. 

There were questions to summarize this program. I answered most of them. The hardest part of the program was preliminary work and the first week. Then I was emotionally in a bad place and everything in my life seemed so negative. It was also hard to choose my goal. I didn’t really know a lot about this program and it made me anxious. In the beginning  there was a lot of information at once. I thought of canceling the program before it even began. The easiest part was 7th week – results. I was emotionally in a good place and I managed to answer the questions as well. Questions felt easier than before but maybe I was just more capable. 

My main support on my way was a duty to write weekly analysis. It motivated me to put in more effort. Another supporter was an idea: Instead of whining about not getting things done you could do these things instead. It made me whine less and then I had more time to actually get something done. How I see the established role of the change in the future – I really didn’t feel that I had established a change. Last week I felt that I had results but this week I didn’t get anything done even though I had a list of things that needed doing. Maybe this feeling was deceptive, maybe it was a hard week and I will get back on track soon. 

The biggest additional positive change was that my home became cleaner. I am most proud that I was able to finish the program. Important knowledge I got: To have a change you must dedicate time to it – even 5 minutes a day will make a difference. What kind of program participant am I – insecure, with little self-belief, with fluctuating emotions – at one point everything seems positive and soon everything is negative. Maybe I was too critical of myself but these were my feelings at this moment and I wanted to be honest. 

Do I feel that this program was useful for me? Yes, I do. Lists and plans haven’t been part of my life, but thanks to this program I learned that these are very helpful. I got so many useful tips and ideas from our mentor and from other participants. I also can use information and materials I got to start a new cycle on my own, but I think it won’t be as effective as in group. I hope there will be a new cycle soon, I have many ideas for my next goal. 

We also had to make ourselves a present at the end of the program. I bought myself sunglasses. I haven’t had those, because I thought that these won’t suit me. I tried on so many and I felt that I would look weird wearing them but finally I chose a pair. I still thought that these won’t suit me but now I am used to them and I feel that they suit me very well. They have made my life a lot better, now it is easier to drive around because the sun won’t make me blind anymore.

This program ended one month ago so it’s time for an analysis. I am not entirely off the track but I think I should be a lot better at things. I looked at my action plan and I have done things from there but only a little. Some changes I made this week so I am not sure if I can stick to those.

Action plan:

  • To try to have some kind of routine in my life – I still don’t have any routine. 
  • To continue with activities which fill my cup – I have managed to write my blog, this has made me happier, but I’d like to do it even more. 
  • To try to learn more about the Notion app – I haven’t learnt new things but I use more of these functions that I already know. 
  • To try to improve my eating habits – I feel that they haven’t improved much, but I have lost some weight so something must have changed. 
  • To try to keep my home clean – We bought a dish-washer so there aren’t dirty dishes anymore. I haven’t managed to do much other stuff. This week I made a list of tasks that I have to do weekly or monthly. I have done some weekly tasks, I hope that I am able to stick to my plan. 
  • To continue with my change and to write an analysis once a month – I have tried to stay on track. There have been good days and bad days, but I haven’t been completely off course. A month has passed and I am writing an analysis so this point has been met. 

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