I am participating in a “75 Strong” program. It is a 75-day body and brain detox, which started on the 15th of October and lasts until 31st of December. The purpose of this program is to cleanse me of old habits which decay my body and brain and create new daily habits. My coach is from abroad. I know we have several lifestyle coaches in Estonia, but my coach also has bipolar disorder, so I think she will understand what I am going through. Reading her blog and following her instagram account I felt a connection to her. I am usually afraid of new people, it was hard for me to find the right psychiatrist because I didn’t feel the connection. It will be a hard journey and it is great to have someone like her supporting me. 

The categories of this cleanse are:

  • JOURNALING – I should write in my journal every day. I have never had a journal. I have done it for a few days and it is actually quite nice to write with pen and paper. My handwriting is terrible, but I hope it improves. 
  • MOVE YOUR BODY – I used to take long walks with my dog, but due to mental health problems I stopped with these. It is stupid, because walking in nature is good for mental health. I have started taking walks again, but I am planning to add some exercising to my weekly routine. 
  • HYDRATION – drinking enough water is so important for your body. I have an on/off relationship with water. Sometimes I drink enough, sometimes I don’t drink at all – I drink soft drinks or juices. I hope I will commit to drinking water every day and give up soft drinks. Juice isn’t bad, if it is without added sugars. 
  • MORNING AND NIGHT ROUTINES – I haven’t got any routines. I haven’t even brushed my teeth every day. Now my morning and night routines include brushing teeth and washing myself. I used to go to bed and watch TV-shows until I fell asleep. Now my bedroom is a computer-free zone. I would like to avoid screen time 30 minutes before going to bed. I haven’t done it yet, but I don’t scroll facebook or instagram in bed anymore, I listen to white noise – for example ocean and wind sounds. 
  • MEDITATION – I haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. I actually don’t know how. I have always thought that meditation is some kind of bullshit, but lately it has been recommended to me a lot, so I want to give it a try. I downloaded an app for it, I even tried to do some meditation, but couldn’t concentrate. This is definitely something that needs a lot of work. 
  • PLANT BASED DIET – I have lately eaten a lot of junk food, now I should eliminate all these from my menu. I’m not sure it is going to work, because I have tried it several times, but then I give up, go to the grocery store and buy a basket of junk-food and binge. I think I try to eat less junk-food, but I won’t cut it out completely.  I also don’t plan to become a vegan, but I think it might be good for me to try more plant-based meals. It is also much cheaper to use plant based protein because meat is quite expensive. 
  • INTERMITTENT FASTING – I’m not sure about that one. I haven’t done enough research yet. I have listened to some podcasts which have said that intermittent fasting isn’t good for women, because of hormones. First goal is to fast for 12 hours a day. I’ll give it a try, because it is not unreasonable. I don’t think I will do 14 or 16-hour fasts, but we’ll see. My goal regarding diet is to have regular meal times. 
  • SUPPLEMENTS – I’m sure I don’t get enough vitamins from my diet, so I plan to add some supplements. I haven’t done the research yet. I am going to see which supplements are available in Estonia and then discuss with my coach, which would be the best to add to my diet. 
  • DETOX – Removing habits which block my brain and body from functioning at its highest level, for example processed foods, soft drinks, automatic negative thoughts etc. I have bad eating habits, it definitely needs a lot of work and I also have problems with negative thinking. I tend to overthink and am paranoid. I hope I can improve myself in this field.
  • LOVE YOURSELF – You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t pour love into other relationships when you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. There is a task every day for self-love, but I haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. At the moment I don’t feel very good about myself and that’s why it is hard to do these tasks. One was “Why are you an amazing woman?”. I didn’t feel amazing at all. I hope I feel better soon and start working on self-love also.
  • SELF IMPROVEMENT – I should focus on one area where I want to improve myself and work on that every day. I am going to read the book “The End of Mental Illness” by Daniel G. Amen. I have a Bipolar Disorder Support chat-group and someone from there recommended it to me when I talked about my memory issues. It is about how to improve the health of my brain. Bipolar episodes cause brain damage. I used to have a super-good memory, but now sometimes I want to do something and when I reach the next room I have already forgotten what I wanted to do. Sometimes I start talking and in the middle of the sentence I forget what I wanted to talk about. I hope this book and this “75 Strong” program will help me to heal my brain.

I had to make a vision board of what I want to accomplish within 75 days:

  • I want to have a healthier lifestyle – eat mostly healthy foods and move my body more. 
  • I hope to lose 5kg of body weight. I know that there is a lot of talk about body positivity and maybe a goal to lose weight might seem bad to some people. I am severely overweight and it has caused some health problems, so it is about health not about being unhappy with my body. 
  • I want to have a routine in my life. Having a routine was one of the goals in my action plan of the “Cycle of Change” program. Three months have passed and I haven’t achieved it. 
  • Last, but not least – I want to be happier. Even my blog’s title is Dreaming of Being Happy. I feel a lot happier than I was months ago, for example when someone asks me how am I doing then I smile and reply “Good!”. Before I used to reply “I don’t know”. But there still is a lot of room for improvement, for example I want to get rid of overthinking and paranoia.

I have high hopes for this program and also for me – that I try to give my best and won’t give up. I will share my journey with you!


  1. Courtney says:

    Awesome Aivi. I am so amazed that we were able to connect. I cannot wait to see what changes are in store for you. Anything is possible when you decide to change. Cheering you on! Your coach, x Courtney

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